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Im directing the scene that has you and me forever
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[13 Feb 2005|10:37am] |
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New LiveJournal!!!!!
i need a change. a new start.
erase the past and start over new.
my new livejournal name is...
</strong></font></a></strong></font></a>![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) polka_dot_shirt .
im going to re-add everyone so
just add it back please.
thanks goodbye<3
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[11 Feb 2005|03:38pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
] |
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music |
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Mae |
] |
im really getting sick of all this immature behavior.
i mean seriously. people are stupid to go around saying stuff.
im really sick of your fake crap.
dont talk to me ever again!
today in school was pritty neat!
i brought my camera and took awesome pictures.
( i love taking pictures of you! )
tonight will be really fun.
alex is coming over & spending the night!
im so excited.
yeah im real sick of you.
so shut up & just leave me alone!
this weekend will be pritty fun i guess.
getting money so thats always good.
well nothing more to say for now.
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[09 Feb 2005|05:00pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Finch |
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hello. how are you?
im good, thanks.
so far this week has been a tad crazy.
went to school late monday && tuesday.
monday ortho appointment. tuesday oppps!
its wenesday. it was a B Block!
wasnt too bad. had studdy in the libary.
took me the whole 1hr 1/2 to do 1-4 history questions.
ohhh WOW!
tonight alex is coming over.
&& that just makes me super duper happy.
my moms been driving me crazy with this whole
grounding on && off thing. im not sure if i am or not!
hmmm. if she could just make up her mind.
im hoping for snow tomorrow. lots && lots of snow.
i either want a 2 hour delay or a canceling.
please mrs. boniface please???
this was just a wicked stupid update.
p.s. i like robots && you!
goodbye lovely<3
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| hes the one i want to wake up next to for the rest of my life<3 |
[07 Feb 2005|03:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 melting inside |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Postal Service |
] |
this is a memory that i will never forget.
it made me melt inside & start to cry.
i just couldnt let go i was over whelmed.
it was that one night at that party.
you were drinking and going crazy.
a sober mans thoughts are a drunk mans actions.
you pulled me close && told me you loved me.
you held on so tight telling me you couldnt live without me.
i asked you if you meant this or if you were just saying this.
you pulled me closer you told me i ment the world to you.
you sayd you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.
i told you i didnt know if to believe you.
you told me you were dead serious.
you told me you cant express the way you feel when sober.
you told me you can only epress the way you feel when drunk.
i was confused i didnt understand.
i told you i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.
i told you that you meant the world to me.
i told you i wanted to spend my life with you.
you then pulled me closer &&
whispered in my ear will you marry me.
i was over whelmed. i held on so tight.
i started to cry. i didnt know what to say.
i couldnt speak. the words just wouldnt come out.
i held on tighter and i told you i loved you.
it was true it was real.
i was melting inside.
its my dream come true.
hes my lover, my best friend.
its never felt as good as this.
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[06 Feb 2005|09:06pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my moms cheering and clapping for the pats. |
] |
Alex & Lindsey<3!
6 month anniversary!
im so happy we are together.
nothing would be right without you.
i love you alexander mark akerblom<3
this weekend was a tad bit
crazy,
fun,
&&
a little bit boring.
i went with alex to greenfeild to see his mom.
this was the first time meeting her && i was a little nervous.
it wasnt too bad at all.
she was very nice && i really liked her.
his brothers are pritty neat too.
a little anoying at times but their boys!
friday night we just sat in && watched movies.
saturday we sat in all morning then at noon
walked uptown to the music store && alex got blood brothers.
then we met his moms new boyfriend && had dinner.
we sat in && just hung out talking && eating grapes.
we watched along came polly on tv. then played 007!
i was really bad :/!
sunday we had to go to alexs great grandmothers 90th birthday.
i was nervous about meeting all his family.
it wasnt too bad except for the part where i
almost had to serve cake to a family i wasnt related to!
the lady who was running it thought i was a grandchild.
when she asked for help i didnt know she ment with
alexs grt. grandmothers cake!! i got nervous and just walked out.
hahaha. easier then being forced into walking around to
alexs relatives serving them cake feeling like their slave!
he was no help to the matter but oh well.
after all that we met with alexs dad && went back to his house.
we had an intersting night! made some egg sandwichs
watched the game till my mom was a b!tch && came and got me!
now im sneaking online writing this entry.
well i should go. i have an ortho appiontment tomorrow.
good night!
or
good day!
or
goodmorning.
<3
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[03 Feb 2005|04:04pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
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hot hot heat |
] |
this weekend is gona kick major ass.
you have no idea!!!
today is thursday which means tomorrow is friday.
thats so great wonderful amazing!!
one more day closer to the weekend of my dreams.
well sord of. haha. close enough.
school is yucky. report cards were a kick in the ass.
lets hope i do better the next 2 terms. ahhh. i better.
i begg this fighting is over.
to think about losing you...
its a nightmare i wont dream.
&& this makes me more happy.
im going to play spring socccer.
YES ! YES ! YES ! YES ! YES !
this is going to be good.<3
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| this is what happens in the end. |
[28 Jan 2005|04:32pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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| [ |
music |
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Mae |
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they scream & scream at me.
then dont come back say your sorry.
then dont come and say you love me.
i know ill fall for it.
i know you'll do it again.
just stop it & try harder.
try harder to fix this all.
please, i beg you please.
dont show up tonight &
beep your horn. call my house.
beep your horn. call my house.
its rude, rude, rude, rude.
if i could erase everything
&
start all over again.
it would be me & you happily together.
nothing would rip us apart. no nothing.
this doesnt make sense.
and i wish it did.
Goodbye<3
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[27 Jan 2005|09:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brazil |
] |
tonight was sexellent!!!! what a dance!!!
if it was for my hot girl & boys!!
Love you all for a beyond wonderful night.
cant wait till semi. ohh yes this will be GREAT!!!
ew tomorrow is a whole nother day of school.
hopefully it will go by fast.
i cant wait to see the love of my life.
i miss him so terribly much.
mmm i miss you alexander!!!
i want to hug you.
i want to kiss you!
Yay for an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!
Pat, Melisa, Lauren, Chris, Mike, Egar, Emily,
Jordon, Tim, Brandon, Catelyn, Johny, Paula!
without them it would be nothing at all!
1.27.05 a night i wont forget!!!
Goodnight<3
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[26 Jan 2005|02:35pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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brazil |
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yay for another snowday!!!!
though i kind of just want to get midterms done.
im such a fool...i got up & got ready for school...
just before i left my mom says i dont think you
have school today lindsey. silly me i guess.
i have some eye problems now...im not suppose to wear..
eye liner or eye shadow for a while.
my eyes get all red, itchy, & burn when i do.
i look so diffrent with out it though.
i dont really care anymore though.
( me without eye make-up? )
So yeah. i need to study for my history midterm today.
& also shovel the drive way before my mom gets home.
just cant wait till midterms are over!!
sing me a song that will last forver baby.
comment if you like.
<3
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| the ugly & the beutiful |
[22 Jan 2005|03:22pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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mae |
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im really sick of my moms yelling.
shes always yelling at my grandmother.
or at me just because she screwed up in life.
im sorry that she ever had me.
im sorry that she ever had my sister.
im sorry she ever met my dad.
im sorry she was ingnored when a child.
im sorry she didnt go to college.
im sorry for everything that made her this way.
its a never ending arguement in my family.
im always geting yelled at or my grandmother.
& it really got me mad that my mom yelled at
my grandmother for buying stuff to plant something.
my grandmother isnt as free as she use to be when
living on her own with my grandfather.
ever since his death shes been living with us and it
hasnt been the best days of her life...stuck inside
this house all day with nothing to do.
& when she buys herself stuff to plant something
cause she wants to have some fun and do something she enjoys.
shes gona get yelled at even after she keeps apoligizing.
it hurt me to watch my grandmother be yelled at and made cry.
we could here her balling in her room cause my mom
is a bitch and yelled at her for planting a plant.
then when i try to talk to my mom about it...
while defending my grandmother i get snapped off at.
yeah sometimes my grandmother can be anoying...but i
would never ever do that to her.
i yelled right back at my mom for being that way.
she had no right. no right what so ever.
then she comes to my ear, directly to it, and
screams at me for defending my grandmother.
my poor grandmother cant defend herself.
she thinks it was wrong of her to plant a plant.
whats wrong with that??????
i hate my mother...sometimes i wish she would just leave.
just disapear and never come back till she figures things out.
urghhhh! i hate her taking out her life on me!!!
sorry for all that. just ignore it if you like.
i needed to write it down...get it all out.
p.s.
its so beautiful to see two of your bestfriends fall inlove.
its the most amazing. made me feel so happy.
goodluck<3
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[20 Jan 2005|07:44pm] |
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mood |
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 nerdy |
] |
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music |
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incubus |
] |
mid-term this week & next 2 days into the week.
makes me go crazy & want to hurl.
can anybody say icky icky icky icky woopootang.
yeahh these midterms are out to make me fail.
ahhhh.
<3
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[19 Jan 2005|05:12pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
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music |
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offspring. |
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A is for age: 15.
B is for booze: mhhm.
C is for career: child care.
D is for dad's name: michael.
E is for essential items to bring to a party: food :o)
F is for favorite song at the moment: frou frou-let go.
G is for girlfriend: mmm yes. i love them all.
H is for hometown: marlborough.
I is for instruments you play: dont have any...but i want to be a drummer.
J is for jam/jelly you like: grape jelly.
K is for kids: someday. not now!
L is for living arrangements: myself, mommy, nana.
M is for mom's name: Kathy.
N is for name of your best friend(s): alex, lindsey, paul, lauren
O is for overnight hospital stays: when i was little & had surgery.
P is for phobias: clowns. ((scary looking ones))
Q is for quote you like: "the best things in life are unseen thats why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream"
R is for relationship that lasted longest: 8-6-04-Present
S is for sexual position: hmmmm.
T is for time you wake up: 5:15 school days. weekends 10.
U is for unique trait: unsure.
V is for vegetable you love: green beans.
W is for worst trait: my shyness.
Y is for yummy food you make: soup mmm<3
Z is for zodiac sign: sagittarius.
all done.
have a wonderful night.
<3
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[17 Jan 2005|08:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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impressed |
] |
my monday was real good i must say.
woke up at 11:45 & called alexander.
then i talked to felicia for an hour.
we decided to go to the mall & to see a movie.
She wanted the icky icky ICP cd.
but they didnt have the cd she wanted.
ewww ICP is yucky yucky!!
i got a neat pair of van shoes.
( my van shoes bring all the boys to the yard. )
i saw lauren and kayla after the movie.
that was pritty neat.
the movie was pritty good.
Coach Carter.
if you like basketball you will problly like this movie.
im not a big fan but she wanted to see the movie.
my day was pritty awesome.
alexander is home & im so happy.
gona go call him now.
byebye<3
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| im directing us to the seen that has me and you forever. |
[16 Jan 2005|12:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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mae |
] |
i was going through my childhood memories tonight...
while talking to alexander on the phone.
i had a pritty intersting childhood.
all the memories i have are so crazy.
i dont remember my mom or my dad.
i remember learning things on my own.
like i taught myself how to ride a bike.
i taught myself how to swim.
i taught myseld manors.
i taught myself how to play soccer.
i taught myslef everything.
my family was too busy with everything else.
my dad worked all the time or he was too busy drinking.
my mom had a day care so she was always busy.
i remember laying in my crib one night, playing with a hair comb...
i remember walking the train tracks laughing with friends.
i remember riding my first two wheeler bike.
i remember climbing the trees in my yard.
i remember roller blading with my friends.
i remember going to concord road park.
i remember singing & dancing to christmas music.
i remeber my 7th birthday with all my friends.
i remeber walking through my house before i was to move.
i sat there in the middle of my room thinking....
why are we moving...i have the greatest memories here.
im leaving my friends...im leaving everything.
when we moved it wasnt the same anymore.
its when i had to start to grow up &
learn to start taking care of myself.
my mom had a new job.
she worked all day and she didnt come home till late.
my sister was never around she was always with her boyfriend.
i was prrity much alone in my home with nothing to do.
until i met liz...she was my bestfriend in the whole world.
we hung out all day, laughing and playing...
but when i went home it wasnt that way. i was again on my own.
my mom would come home and we would have dinner.
i would sit on the living room floor and eat.
we had no furniture in are living rooma & no where to eat.
we live in a two family house. it had 2 bedroom...
a small kitchen living room and a bathroom.
since it was so small it brought are family close together.
i got to spend time with my mom...the little time i had.
the worst day of my life was when i herd my grandfather died.
i had to spend the weekend with my dad. ouch!
then i herd since he was dead my nana was
coming to live with us so we were to move again.
i was hoping it would be only better.
i was wrong...it only got worse.
now i live here. its not as good as it seems.
my mom works 7 days a week. my sister is in college.
& my nana can be a pain alot sometimes.
me & my family dont get along very well.
well my mom and sister do & sometimes my nana.
but i dont get along with them very well.
my mom & sister even find it funny to make fun of me.
and yeah i know that sounds stupid & childish to get
mad or upset when someone makes fun of you...
but it seems like everytime my sister comes around...
they feel the need to bring me down & make fun of
everything about me and it hurts me...badly.
my mom doesnt seem to like anything im into.
shes always telling me i should be something i dont want to.
shes always getting mad at me when shes mad at everything else.
shes always yelling at me when something goes wrong.
shes always too busy to listen to what i have to say.
shes always making my sister feel proud & putting me down.
shes always telling me i could do so much more with my life.
shes never happy with anything ive done.
shes always trying to make everything worse.
she finally told me im on my own.
those words...were they suppose to hurt me.
cause they have been for too long...that when
she finally admited that im on my own...it made
me feel good to hear her finally admit that ive been
on my own.
i mean my family is so seperated now.
i either sit in my room on the phone, doing homework,
online, or out with a couple friends.
me & my mom dont talk like we use to.
me & my sister dont talk like we use to.
ive lost my best friend & i made new ones...
but im loosing them slowly and gainging them slowly.
we thought moving here would make things better.
but my mom spends her few hours at home in her room or watching tv.
theres no family time together. theres no oh lindsey im proud of you.
i would do anything to live back in that crap.
those were the happiest years of my life.
i would do anything give anything just to go back.
i mean my life isnt horrible...i just hate how it feels.
i feel as though my my family really doesnt care.
i hear from my father every 6 months
and he lives 10 minutes away from me.
is that right? does that make any sense.
he didnt even make it to my birthday this year.
its sick. i hate him what he did to me when i was
little hurts and still does.
those words i love you from my family hurt.
makes me wonder do you or are you just saying
that you do to make it seem like this family is happy.
im happy with everything outside my home.
my friends are wonderful & they amaze me everyday.
my boyfriend and love of my life...is the best in my life.
without him i dont think anything would be okay.
hes what brings me joy & happiness.
hes what makes me believe love is real.
& im very sorry for writing this in here.
its the way i feel tonight & i needed to get it out.
i dont hate my life. i just wish i could go back
to those 13 years of my life where i was more happier.
i would do anything to get back those 13 years.
& again im sorry for this unbelievabley long journal entry.
i can now lay my head and sleep.
goodnight<3
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[14 Jan 2005|01:03pm] |
You Are the Enthusiast |
7
You are outgoing and playful - always seeing the happy side to life.
You're enthusiastic and excitable. You love anything new.
Multi-talented, you do many things well... and find success easy.
You prefer to keep things light with others. Opening up is hard for you.
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do you think describes me?
comment please!
<3
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[13 Jan 2005|04:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
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311 |
] |
you make me wana lala<3
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[10 Jan 2005|08:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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blood brothers |
] |
days & nights with you never felt this good.
you the most amazing thing in my life.
if i didnt have you i dont know what i would do.
you and your pretend driving & your amazment with gravity.
your so crazy i love you so unbelievabley much.
my friends are just so amazing.
days with them are so good.
without them im just blah blah.
with them im all woohoo woohoo.
they bring me up when im down.
they keep me smiling all the time.
ohh i love them ohh so much.
things are getting better & ive never been so happy.
never felt any better.
<3
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[07 Jan 2005|03:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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sparta |
] |
i dont care what you think.
its only what i think.
im gona lose it i know i will.
just leave me alone and i'll be fine.
i dont care about people commenting in my journal.
im only going to write what im feeling in here for now.
its just so i can get it out and try to make sense of it all.
so much is going through my head.
everything is getting confusing.
caught up all in one.
its getting harder & harder to untangle.
im not making sense of it at all.
making and loosing everything.
ahhh im loosing it now.
save me, save me, save me now.
<3
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[26 Dec 2004|01:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
snow falling? |
] |
Happy Holidays!
&
Happy Birthday ALLEE CARROLL!!!!
my ( christmas )was pritty good i guess.
i was sick though and felt so icky!!
i was upset that mine & alexs first christmas
we couldnt be together. but later after dinner
i was feeling pritty good so he came over.
he made me feel better knowing that someone
was by me taking care of me making sure im okay.
but yeah today im feeling better but not the best.
all day im gona watch movies and do nothing.
tomorrow go to the movies and mall.
yay!
well hope you had a good christmas.
get better kristin!
byebye<3
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| hmm do i know you? |
[18 Dec 2004|05:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
silly |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
blood brothers |
] |
if your in my journal then please comment with...
your name and a picture then i will tell you what
i think of you exactly. in all honesty.
or if i dont know you and you like to come in my journal
then i can get to know you so yeah.
comment with your name and picture.
please & thank you.
<3
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] |
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